Old lovers, new lovers
by YulianaHenderson
Summary: What if: Jane and Lisbon met when they were younger, and fall in love even though Jane has a relationship with Angela. Will their feelings be still there when they meet each other again at different stadiums in their lives, when both their worlds have crashed down? Little vague, really bad with summaries. AU/OOC. Rated M for later 'sexy-times'. Jane/Lisbon, Jane/Angela.
1. June 27, 1981

**A/N: Yes, no. Yes, no. Yeeeeees... no. I've been pondering about placing this story ever since I came back from England, which was over a month ago... I don't know why, actually. Maybe because it's M-rated (which is not my cup of tea actually), because the plot is seriously strange, because I portray Jane like a heavy player since he basically cheats on Angela... I dunno. Didn't really feel positive about this story. But read this chapter, please, and let me know what you thought of it afterwards, in any form possible (reviews, follows, favs)!**

**I know I have two other stories running, but I'm stuck with that one, and since this story is already done, I thought that this was the best way of keeping the appearance that I'm doing fine.**

**Yes, so, about the M-rating: this chapter is not M-rated. I had a MAJOR sexual frustration when I was in England for a bit longer than two and a half weeks. I didn't have internet so I couldn't read new stories (most times I would read stories from the great Rothelena, but since I didn't have internet...) and so I came up with this to fix that frustration. Not that it helped much, but oh well...**

**Oh, and I'm only 17, still virgin, so I don't know if the little M-rated scenes in this story are realistic enough or not. So bear with me until I wait for the right one to come along to lose my virginity. **

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

* * *

**"Old lovers, new lovers"**

**_June 27, 1981_**

"Patrick, do watch out," Mrs. Jane ordered her twelve-year-old son. The boy just shrugged.

"I'm twelve," he stated.

"Thanks for stating the obvious. I'm leaving now, at the end of the day, your father will come and get you. If he still remembers it then."

Patrick sighed, but nodded.

"Now go and have fun," Mrs. Jane said, and pushed him into the ring of the big circus tent.

It was a nice idea, to invite all the children from the city they were in to get a 'circus life workshop'. Of course it wasn't that interesting for Patrick since he was surrounded by that life every day, but he didn't have anything else to do.

He looked around, and saw a group of four kids. They were far too early, the workshop didn't start in another two hours.

The kids all had dark brown hair, and from what Patrick could see they all had green eyes.

Patrick sighed, and walked over to them.

"Hi. My name is Patrick," said Patrick. The only girl from the group looked at him, taking in his appearance from head to toe.

"Hi, I'm Teresa," she said, and reached out her hand. He got a smile on his face, and shook her hand. "These are James, Michael and Thomas."

Patrick smiled at them.

"Where're you from, Teresa?"

Teresa raised her eyebrows.

"From here. Chicago."

"Ah, of course."  
"Yes, of course," she said, and they fell silent. Thomas looked up at her.

"How old are they?" asked Patrick.

"Why would you want to know? Besides, aren't you that boy who reads people's minds?"

"As a matter of fact, I am, yes. Impressed?"

"By you?" Teresa repeated, "in your dream, pal."

Patrick laughed, and raised his hands in defense. He opened his mouth to say something, when someone grabbed his hand. Surprised, he looked at the person next to him, and smiled.

"Teresa, brothers of Teresa," started Patrick, which made Teresa roll her eyes, "this is Angela, my... girlfriend."

Patrick smiled internally when he saw just a small pout on the brunette's face.

"Oh. Hello Angela. I'm Teresa," said Teresa. She was rewarded with a somewhat faked smile from the dark blonde girl, and Patrick cringed internally. Why was Angela nice when she and Patrick were alone, but not when she was with other people? Now it sometimes looked as though she was the wicked witch of the west.

"You coming, Patty?" Angela asked, while already pulling him with her. Patrick sighed, and nodded, squeezing her hand gently.

"I hope I'll be seeing you around more, Teresa. If not: Have fun today," said Patrick, and playfully bowed down. Teresa rolled her eyes, and Patrick smiled. He saw that this girl didn't fall easily for his charms, not like other girls would. Even though he was only twelve, he saw the way the other gender looked at him and when he met Angela, these looks quickly changed from admiring looks to jealous looks, mostly addressed to Angela.

Yet Teresa... he didn't know what to think of her.

He would figure out eventually.

-YulianaHenderson-

"Tessie! Tessie!" the unmistakable sound of Thomas' voice came, louder than Teresa had wanted him to scream. Everybody looked at her now, and her cheeks turned into a deep shade of red. "Look what I can do!"

Teresa smiled faintly at him as she watched him performing something he'd just learned.

"Why so shy?" a familiar voice sounded from behind her, and she rolled her eyes. Though she was glad the boy with the major ego distracted her – and the group of young, curious eyes looking at her.

She had seen the boy showing magic tricks a few minutes before, and he had winked at her. Winked! What an idiot.

"I'm not shy," she said, and turned around, "I just don't like being the center of attention."

Patrick raised an eyebrow.

"Isn't that the definition of being shy?"

She shrugged.

"I wouldn't know the exact definition. I'm not a walking dictionary. All I know that _I'm_ definitely not the definition."

Patrick nodded.

"So you have no problems with standing in front of big crowds?" asked Patrick. Teresa froze. Of course she couldn't stand in front of a big crowd. She would rather kill herself.

"Uhm... No, I have not," she said, and Patrick smiled.

"So I can ask if you'll perform with us tonight?"

Once again, Teresa froze. Yet when she saw Patrick's small smug grin, she knew she would give him what he wanted if she denied now – which was hearing that he was right – so she nodded.

"I would be honored." Her entire mind was scolding her. She shouldn't be doing this. She didn't function well in public places, especially when these people were all staring at her. "In fact, I would even allow _you_ to choose something for me."

What!? Where did that come from? Now he would definitely get her killed. He would probably choose for the tigers, or worse, knife throwing.

"Very well," he said, and fell silent to think about something.

He then again got a smile on his face, one that was close between evil and excited. He raised his hand to point at something, and Teresa tilted her head to look too.

For the thousandth time, she froze. Because Patrick was pointing at the high rope.

"I... But..."

"You're not scared, are you?" asked Patrick. Teresa was too busy trying to come up with a (lame) excuse that she didn't see the sincere worry in his eyes.

She gave up thinking when the last thing she could think about was saying that she needed to look after her brothers. They both knew that the three were in perfect hands here.

She sighed, and looked at Patrick, who obviously had already noticed that he'd won.

"Of course not."

"Great! Look for Angela, she'll teach you how to walk on the rope."

Teresa sighed. This was so not a good idea.

-YulianaHenderson-

"Patrick Jane!"

Patrick froze. He put his most charming smile on his face, and turned around. He saw Angela approaching him, both her hands on her hips. Her eyes seemed to be shooting fire.

"Hey Ange," he said, and she raised one of her hands.

"That outsider girl, Teresa? She just came up to me. She wants to do the high rope."

Patrick feigned surprise and disgust.

"Really? Well that's-"

"Don't you act stupid, Patrick Jane. She told me that you told her that she could perform with us tonight. Since when do we do that?"

"Ange, just once."  
"You said that last time too, with that girl that was almost three years older than you. Should I be jealous?"

"While you're busy trying to keep every girl away from me to prevent me from 'cheating', I saw how sad Teresa actually is."

Angela crossed her arms.  
"Oh really. How sad?"

"You don't care about her." Angela huffed.  
"Oh, and _you_ do? Patrick, she's an _outsider_! You can't be a gentleman to every girl that comes here. You'll get yourself into big problems one day, let me guarantee you that."

Patrick wanted to defend himself, but he knew too how stubborn – and insecure – Angela actually was.

He pulled her towards him, his hands on her waist.  
"There's no need in being jealous, Ange. You're amazing, I wouldn't dare to replace you," whispered Patrick, and he sweetly brushed his lips against hers. No tongue of course, Angela didn't like that.

-YulianaHenderson-

Patrick walked backstage, searching for Teresa when he bumped into Pete, one of Patrick's best friends at the circus.

"Patrick!" he exclaimed. Patrick sighed, and shook his head.  
"Not now, Pete."

"Ah, in a hurry to speak to your girl?"

"Something like that, yes."

"Well, have fun with her," said Pete, and Patrick frowned. But then he realized the exact meaning of Pete's words, and smiled just a bit.

Angela and him were inseparable, moments where they weren't together were rare. That was why Pete thought that Patrick was looking for Angela.

Patrick smiled at the older boy, and continued his way.

He found Teresa between a few wooden boxes, her legs pulled tightly against her chest, her head on her knees.

Patrick sat down beside her.

"Scared?"

"No, I-" Teresa looked up at him, and all excuses were gone.

"Yes," she finally said, "I... I admire your offer, but I can't do this."  
Patrick nodded.  
"I'm not weak, or a coward. But... but this doesn't feel right for me."

He nodded again.

"I was actually joking when I pointed at that rope. But when you accepted..."

She smiled faintly.

"Care to go for a walk? Don't worry about your brothers, they're taken care of," he said, and he stood and offered her his hand.  
"Sure."

-YulianaHenderson-

Though Patrick longed to get out of the carnival, he did like the cities they went to, and the always changing landscapes of the country.

He looked at Teresa, who had been silent for the entire walk up until now.

"Tell me, Teresa, why is it that your parents left you here? Don't get me wrong, I don't mean anything with it, but most kids that come here have parents that can't take care of them for the entire day-"

"My parents both work fulltime. They don't have time to look after me and my brothers."

"I'm sorry-"  
"Don't be. It's not your fault.

They continued walking without speaking, but after a while, Patrick stopped, causing Teresa to stop too.

He looked into her eyes, and saw many different feelings. Sadness was obviously the most obvious one, but apart from that, you could also see tiredness. He guessed that she was tired of looking after her brothers entire days, while her parents were out to work. He hated these feelings, such a beautiful, young girl like Teresa herself shouldn't be feeling all these.

He then suddenly approached her, quickly so that Teresa couldn't step away, took her in his arms and crushed his lips down on hers. He felt her body tense a bit, before she finally gave in. He kept cupping her cheeks, keeping the kiss sweet and gentle like his kisses with Angela, until Teresa swung her arms around his neck and – somewhat awkwardly, he figured this was her first kiss, which really made this all the more special – probed her tongue against his lips. A spark ran through both of them when their tongues touched.

He had never felt anything like this when he kissed Angela. He pulled away – slightly breathless – to see a faint blush on her cheeks. She took a step backwards, and looked down at the ground.

"I'm sorry, I-" started Teresa, but Patrick shook his head.

"Don't be sorry, Teresa."  
"But what about Angela?"  
Patrick looked around, and raised his arms. "Do you see her here?"  
She sighed.  
"I'm serious, Patrick-"  
"And I'm too."  
He sighed, and grabbed her hand.  
"I might look and act like a player or something, but I'm not. I really like you, Teresa. I mean, as in like-like."

He gently stroked her cheek, and he saw she shivered.  
"I'm leaving tomorrow, Teresa."

Teresa's eyes widened. "What? No..."  
"I'm afraid so."

He saw how genuinely sad she was about this news, so he pulled her against him.

"I know your name. When I'm back here, I'll come looking for you. I'll do everything I can to find you again, Teresa," he whispered. Teresa hesitated a bit, before clutching at his shirt as if for dear life.  
"Teresa Lisbon. I won't forget that name."  
"And I will not forget you, Patrick Jane."  
"You'd better not," Patrick teased, but Teresa didn't laugh. He got serious again.  
"I will wait for you, Teresa."

* * *

**A/N: You know what I mean with 'player-Jane' now? I know, it's so unrealistic, yada yada... Just let me know if you want this continued or not :D.**


	2. April 18, 1986

**A/N: And here, my friends, is where this story is already becoming M-rated... I made it so short because I definitely doubted about how much you would love it. And ****_yes_****, I think that it's way too soon for both of them. But like I said, this story was supposed to stay short and simple. I didn't even plan on placing this in three different chapters, just as one long one-shot, but yeah... I dunno :D. And yes, this story is only three chapters. Of 2000 words. The next is a bit longer, I guess :D.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

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**5 years later**

**_April 18, 1986_**

"No Patrick. We won't do another 'carnie life workshop' or whatever you called it. You know how I thought about that the last time."

Patrick sighed. He brushed a hair out of Angela's face.

"Don't you trust me, Angie?" asked Patrick.  
"Of course I do."  
"Because I'm not getting that feeling now. That brown-haired girl whose name I already forgot – which should be evidence enough – was five years ago. I was twelve, Ange. I'm seventeen now. You can trust me completely."

Angela looked at him, her head tilted.

"You don't know her name anymore?" asked Angela. Apparently, she was surprised by this revelation. Everybody knew Patrick wasn't the faithful type, not even when he got into a 'serious relationship' with Angela – much to her parents' displeasure, but as long as their daughter was happy they didn't complain.

"Of course not. Something with a 'T', that's all," which was the biggest lie of the decade.  
_Teresa Lisbon._ He couldn't get that name out of his mind. Strange enough, even during him and Angela's first time he'd thought about Teresa.

Angela smiled. She came to stand directly in front of him, their noses touching.  
"Great," whispered Angela, "because I don't want to share you. And when we're going, we're going. Tonight will be our last performance."  
Patrick nodded.  
"If you decide you don't want to go, we have to say our farewells now, because _I'm leaving_."

Before he could block it, one thought quickly ran through his head.  
"I won't change my mind, Ange. What city are we in again?" asked Patrick. Angela sighed, and turned around to prepare for the show.  
"Chicago! I already told you! Where were you with your mind?" she almost exclaimed, over her shoulder, and Patrick froze within one-thousandth of a second.

No. No no no. It couldn't be!

Teresa must _not_ come, or he'll hurt Angela forever.  
She turned around again, and smiled faintly.

"Walk for a bit. Get some fresh air. I don't want you to join me if you're like this."

Patrick nodded, quickly ran over to her to place a gentle kiss on her lips – just how she wanted it, without tongue – and then ran out of the dressing room, to the big circus ring.

-YulianaHenderson—

What must he do now?  
He saw her in an instant when he'd walked into the ring: that beautiful chocolate brown hair and these green, emerald eyes almost screamed his name – even if their owner was five years older than the last time he'd seen her, and she probably wouldn't even remember him.

Teresa was lost in thoughts – she was alone, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to know why – so he could sit down beside her without noticing.

The show hadn't started yet, but he could clearly see that she was staring at the high chord. He smiled.

"Still afraid?" asked Patrick, and she startled. She turned around and almost got a second heart attack when she saw him.

"Patrick?" she asked. Patrick smiled, and raised his arms as if he was the most awesome person in the world – which he was not, of course, for awesome people wouldn't cheat on their more than perfect girlfriend.

"The one and only," said Patrick, and Teresa rolled her eyes.

"Some things never change, I see."  
"And some things _do_. May I just say how beautiful you are looking tonight?"

Teresa again rolled her eyes.  
"Teresa, I need to talk to you. Alone," said Patrick, and offered her his hand. She nodded, and took his hand.

-YulianaHenderson-

"Angie?"

Angela sighed, and turned around. She looked straight into the eyes of her mother.

"What?" Angela snapped, already regretting it. Her mother could be _really_ angry if she wanted to.

"Hey, I only tried to help you-"

"What's wrong, Mum?"

Her mother paused, before she looked around and then at Angela again.

"It's Patrick."

Angela froze. "What's with him?"

"He... Let me say that the entire carnival hates him now."

"What's with him, Mum?" Angela asked, a little more insistent this time.

"That outsider girl showed up. He left the tent with her, they're in the woods now."

-YulianaHenderson-

"So, why are you alone here?" asked Patrick. They had gone to the place where they had kissed five years ago, and were now sitting between the tall trees and blossoming flowers.

She shook her head, and looked at the ground.  
"I don't want to talk about it," whispered Teresa.

He moved closer, and gently grabbed her hand.

"You can tell me anything, Teresa. I swear."

She sighed, and then swallowed.

"My parents. They are... they died. Both of them."

Patrick gasped quietly, but not quiet enough. After a long moment of silence, she looked up into his eyes.

Something inside him snapped.

He linked their lips so quickly that Teresa fell backwards, shocked. He gently covered her body with his. She shook her head, and managed to rid her lips of his hungry ones.

"Patrick... Angela."

"Teresa, I haven't thought about anything else than you in the past few years. You have no idea how long I have wanted this, have needed this. If you're going to reject me now, I'm going to die a slow, painful and lonely death. Please, Teresa, I've waited for you for so long," whispered Patrick. Teresa just stared at him, her eyes wide.

Then she reached up and kissed him like he'd kissed her mere moments ago, but with more. More passion, more love. Like she couldn't do different than admit she'd felt like his words too for so long. Which was so weird in every way possible, since one: Patrick had Angela, and two: they didn't even know each other for two days. These years in between didn't count.

But she couldn't shake the feeling that this felt so _right_. Like they were supposed to do this, like this was their main reason of living. Even when it was wrong.

With one hand he sweetly brushed her cheek, while with his other hand he moved to unbutton his shirt. It all went too slow, for both of them, so Teresa helped him.

Soon enough, they both lay almost naked amidst the flowers. When Patrick moved to unclasp Teresa's bra though, she stopped him. Like she was scared of something – or someone.

"Patrick, I-"

"I know, Teresa," whispered Patrick against her lips, "and I'm scared of that too. Angela and I are going to run away from the circus this evening. But I'm going to think about you, Teresa, everyday from now on until we can be together. And once I know for sure that Angela can live without me because she grew stronger, I'll come looking for you. One day, we will be together. I promise."

Teresa let go of his arms, and he unhooked the clasp behind her back. She gasped softly, and he threw it away.

He bowed down and kissed her now completely naked chest: her collarbone, the space between her breasts and then put a kiss on one of her nipples.

"I promise," whispered Patrick again against her pale skin. As if he wanted to mark her skin with his promise, so that she didn't forget it. Teresa shuddered.

He lowered his hands, to rest on her hips and pulled her panties down her legs in one fluent move. She gasped again, and Patrick caught it quickly with his lips.

"I promise."

He gently ran a finger through her wet folds. When she leaned into his touch, he smiled, and gently pushed one finger inside her. She sighed out of pure pleasure, and then he added another finger.

Teresa squirmed a bit, before she flung her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. Happily Patrick complied, buried his face in the crook of her neck, and started a slow but comfortable pace with his fingers. He nibbled the skin in her neck, and that surprisingly already pushed her over the edge. He held her while she came, brushing her cheek with his free hand.

"I promise, I promise...," whispered Patrick in her ear.

Teresa moved her hands to his boxer shorts, pulling on the waistband. He rid himself of it, and then they were both naked. They faintly noticed the somewhat colder air touching their skins.

Patrick linked their lips again.

"Patrick, please," Teresa whimpered, lifting her hips and doing all she could to get him inside her.

Patrick kissed the tip of her nose.  
"Only when you're absolutely sure."

Teresa groaned. She wasn't exactly able to say if she was sure. And she didn't even know why she did this, and wanted it like mad. Patrick had a girlfriend, he couldn't be with her. Then why was Teresa in love with him?

"I'm sure," came her reply, and Patrick entered her.

Teresa's eyes fluttered shut in a combination of pleasure and pain.

Patrick slid deeper inside her, inch for agonizing inch. She was so tight that he faintly wondered if she was still a virgin – which would not be surprising since they were only seventeen.

She again swung her arms around his neck, pulling him closer once again.

Patrick lifted only his upper body by leaning on his elbows. He still managed to make Teresa wrap her legs around him.

He started to thrust, slow and lovingly, but it killed him just as slow. He hesitated, and Teresa felt it. She kissed his ear.  
"I can take it," whispered Teresa, and again something snapped inside him.

He gently placed her on the ground again, kissed her and then started to thrust harder, feeling like coming home when he entered her to the hilt and feeling depressed when he left her body.

"I promise," he breathed, continuing what he'd just started.

Teresa's eyes fluttered shut again, and so did Patrick's almost.

"Open your eyes," ordered Patrick, but it came out less insisting than it seemed.

She did, and her beautiful green, emerald eyes shined at him. Patrick got a lump in his throat.

Everything seemed to better with Teresa. Smiling, holding hands, kissing, making love. He would never be able to let her go, not when she made him feel so good.

She lifted her hands and brushed his cheeks, while his thrusts became harder.

He placed a kiss on her forehead and with the next thrust, she came. She suppressed a scream, obviously afraid she would scare him.

Patrick couldn't stop his own release anymore. He leaned down to kiss her, a hungry, passionate kiss, and came too. He shot his load inside her, triggering another orgasm for Teresa. She bit his lower lip, more in an attempt not to scream on the top of her lungs than actually hurt him or play with him.

He didn't pull out of her, but rolled them so they were laying on their sides, one of her legs over his hip.

Teresa smiled weakly at him, and he kissed her forehead once again.

"First time?" asked Patrick suddenly, and Teresa startled, before blushing and closing her eyes.

"Was it that obvious?" asked Teresa quietly.

"No. It's okay Teresa. I'm honored to be your first," he whispered. He kissed her again, and soon felt his face wetting. Only _he_ was not crying.

He pulled away slightly, and so much offending tears in Teresa's eyes that his heart broke.

"One day we'll regret this, won't we?" asked Teresa, her voice small. Patrick wiped her tears from her face.

"I will never regret this, Teresa. Never."

She cried fully now, and he took her in his arms, holding her through her emotional rollercoaster.

"What I feel for you, Teresa, is real. I can't deny that. Whatever happens, I'll love you."

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**A/N: Okay, so while I was thinking of a good Author's Note for here, I already found a way of making this story longer. IF you want it to be longer than the three chapters I already had for it. Spoilsport: next chapter is when Jane and Lisbon met each other when they were supposed to work with each other. So let me know if you want me to elaborate on the years in between this chapter and next chapter, or if you just want some stupid smut again. :D**


	3. November 11, 1986

**A/N: *yay* Thank you for the support on last chapter! It warms my heart to think of all the people who support me through thick and thin. I love you, all of you!**

**Anyways, on with this story. No comment about this chapter, btw.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

* * *

**7 months later**

_**November 11, 1986**_

Patrick had no idea what hurt more: Angela being angry at him, or Angela totally ignoring him.

Had to be the latter.

He was trying to get to her for the past hour, but she just stubbornly continued the chores, not looking at him once.

"Angie, _please_, talk to me," Patrick pleaded. Angela placed a plate in front of Patrick, and he sighed as he picked it up and dried it.

"It was nothing, Ange-"

"Nothing. It was nothing," Angela repeated, yet no humor was evident in her voice. Her tone was icy calm. Patrick winched. "Sleeping with somebody is _not nothing_."

Patrick closed his eyes briefly, trying to formulate a good reply, but knew Angela was completely right. He hesitantly opened his eyes, and looked at Angela again.

She shot him a quick look, before she focused back on soaping the dirty dishes.

"You're just as bad as your father, Patrick. I believed you, I _trusted_ you. With my life even. I've always tried to see the best things in what you did, because I _know_ you're not normal, and I _know_ you deal with things different than we carnie folks do. But this. I hadn't expected _this_."

"I'm carnie too, Ange-"

"Not entirely. Not as I am-"

"Nobody is as carnie as you are."

Angela put down the dish she was holding, and turned towards him, one eyebrow raised.  
"And what's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, Ange, trust me-"

"I can't trust you anymore, Patrick," she said, as she once again focused on the dirty dishes.

She opened her mouth to say something more, but closed it. Then, she put down everything she was holding, and dried her hands.  
"Did you... did you... you know... _protect_..."

Patrick sighed. "No."

"Okay. So there can be a little Patrick out there without you knowing. Without you loving the mother."

"The possibility is great, yes."

"God, you're so heartless, Patrick," she spat, and turned on her heels towards the living room. Patrick stopped her though, grabbing hold of her wrist.

She yanked her arm back, with a force he didn't know she possessed.

"Don't. Touch. Me," she hissed, and left the kitchen.

Patrick looked helplessly at the dishes. Angela was so right. Yet it still hurt him.

Who did he love now? Angela? Teresa?

Both were great... Perfect, even. He was a jerk.

-YulianaHenderson-

"Seriously, Teresa, I want to help," Thomas said behind Teresa, startling her.

She turned around fiercely, and sighed when she saw the sincere worry in the boy's eyes.

"You can't help me, Tommy. Just focus on your homework."

Thomas shook his head.

"Do it for me, then? Please, Tommy, I want you to pass this year."

Tommy sighed, before he placed a brief kiss on his sister's cheek and left the room.

Teresa leant back into her chair. This was such a mess.

"What's a mess?" James asked behind her, and Teresa realized she'd spoken these words out loud. Well, at least it couldn't get any worse than it already was. Taking care of three younger brothers was worse enough. Taking care of a baby who was due to be born in a month was even worse.

Teresa pointed at her belly.

"I'm sure the little princess will be loved, Reese. Come on. She has you as a mother. And three great uncles. Sure nothing can go wrong then."

Teresa rolled her eyes. She focused back on the cucumber she was cutting in slices.

"I just wish I hadn't met Patrick at all-"

"_Stop_ whining about Patrick. He's a _jerk_ for getting you pregnant and then not take any responsibility. If I ever see him again, I'm going to knock the living daylight out of him. And I'm sure Dad would've done that too. And even Mum, maybe, but without much injuries."

Teresa rolled her eyes again. James sat down on the chair beside her.

"I know you love Patrick, Reese. But you have to forget about him. He's not coming back, he's not going to be a proper daddy for your child. I'm sorry to put it so bluntly to you."

Teresa shrugged. "It's what I deserve, apparently. Nothing good can happen to me-"

"Just because you're pregnant doesn't mean I can't hit you, Reese," James stated, matter-of-factly, and Teresa smiled.

"Well, thank you, Jamie," she said, and James smiled faintly.  
"Anytime."

-YulianaHenderson-

Patrick had to watch his every move and word with Angela now.

He believed he was lucky enough that Angela had wanted to marry him. She hadn't hesitated for a second with his proposal, and he could see in her eyes that she was afraid he would make up his mind. That he would go looking for Teresa and leave her all alone.

Of course he wasn't going to do that.

"Patty?" Angela asked from the bathroom, and Patrick's heart clenched. In a good way, though. He knew what she was going to say. He was 'the boy wonder', for Pete's sake.

"Hmm?" Patrick asked, as he came to stand in front of the door.

"It's opened," Angela said hurriedly, and he entered the room.

Angela was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, a white item in her hands, and an involuntary grin spread on his face when she looked up to look at him.

"I... I'm pregnant-"

"I love you, Angela," Patrick interrupted her, and when she startled at his sudden interruption, he took advantage of her confusion to walk over to her in a few firm steps and kiss her.

"I love you, you, _you_," Patrick whispered through kisses. Angela's body tensed for a nano-second, before she swung her arms around his neck, pulling him closer, and when Patrick lost balance, they fell into the bathtub, loudly laughing and cheering.

They were going to be just fine.

-YulianaHenderson-

"You should really buy more unisex clothing, Reese," Michael said, as the four of them strolled through the thousandth shop in search of good – but more importantly; _cheap_ – baby stuff.

Teresa shook her head.  
"I'm hundred percent sure it's a boy," she said. James shook his head now, but was more concentrated on the cute, pink little dress in front of him.

"Something tells me it's a girl."

"How can you know?" Teresa asked, incredulously.

"Like I said: _something_ tells me it's a girl."

"What's that-"

"Are we really going to argue about that? Now?" Michael asked, interrupting the two. It wasn't like they hadn't argued before, about this very same topic. And honestly, it annoyed all of them, since it really didn't matter if the baby was a boy or a girl. They were going to love him/her all the same.

Thomas just stood behind Michael, nodding like an idiot.

Teresa was about to say something to her younger brothers, when she noticed two middle-aged women staring at her baby bump.

Teresa sighed faintly, before she left the three arguing boys and walked up to the women.  
"I'm sorry to bother you, but I'd like to know why you're looking at me like that," Teresa said. The women looked at each other for a few seconds.

"Like _how_?"

"Like _that_. Like you're criticizing me."

"Maybe we are."

"And maybe it's my own life-"

"Sure it is. It's just such a shame to throw away your childhood for something as stupid as children and love. You and your boyfriend must be really-"

"Who's saying I have a boyfriend? Maybe I've been raped, you wouldn't know because you don't _know me_-"

Teresa was cut off by James and Michael pulling her away from the two women. Maybe it were just the hormones, or the fact that it really hurt what the women said, but Teresa started crying out of nowhere.

"I don't want this anymore. I don't..."

James pulled Teresa against him, and stroked comforting circles on her back. The other two boys just looked at the women, who awkwardly retreated.

"You can't back out, Reese. I know you want to, but you can't go back now. We're here for you. And don't listen to mean people. You're the most brilliant person on this world. They are just jealous of you."

Teresa rolled her eyes, despite her tears. "Whatever."

"Let's take these rompers and then get home, okay?"

-YulianaHenderson-

Patrick tightened his hold on Angela's waist, not really hurting her but strong enough to indicate she couldn't leave him now. He drew invisible patterns on Angela's baby bump.

"Patrick?" Angela asked, when they laid like that for a lot of minutes.

"Hmm?"

"Would you have wanted a family with Teresa?" Angela asked, her voice suddenly really small and fragile.

Patrick instantly pulled away from her, on which Angela sat up straight and frowned.

"Will you stop about her?" Patrick asked, getting more than irritated.

"Patty-"

"No, Angela. Teresa was years ago. I'm with you now. We're married, we're pregnant. Why can't you just forget about Teresa? Dammit, Ange! I did _one_ thing wrong and that's immediately going to destroy our happiness? I don't get you!" he exclaimed, got off the bed in full speed, left the room and slammed the door behind him.

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**A/N: Like I said: No comment on this chapter :D. Bit Hurt/Comfort, maybe even Angst... I guess that just basically fits my feeling now.**

**Let me know, though, what you think in a REVIEW, thank you! And oh, next chapter may be slightly delayed, but that's because I'm busy studying (*cough* studying *cough*)!**


	4. February 15, 1988

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

* * *

**2 years later**

**_February 15, 1988_**

Michael analyzed the 'short' shopping list Teresa had pushed into his hands before he left (it had taken her so long already in persuading him to go to the shop, let alone make him realize that he couldn't remember everything she demanded he took with him. Which, he now realized, she had been right in doing).

He dove behind a shelf, and looked at what had caught his attention so quickly.

A particular blonde-haired man, a few years older than Michael himself, was walking at the other end of the shop. His arm was possessively around a dark-blonde girl's waist. She was pushing forth a buggy. In it a chuckling little girl from around one year old. Michael had to suppress the growl that was forming in his throat.

The bastard. Of course he knew who these people were.

And yet, despite his anger, Michael couldn't do anything to Patrick. Because, obviously, there was a reason that Teresa had been pregnant and was now a way too young mother of a beautiful girl; love. She was in love with Patrick, and though Michael couldn't really fathom _why_, he knew that she was _still_ in love with Patrick, even after everything that the jerk had done to her. Which, ultimately didn't give James, Thomas and Michael the right to go out and hurt Patrick.

Michael sighed quietly, before he stepped away from behind the shelf.

The girl – Angela, Michael remembered now – startled, but Patrick didn't. Nothing scared him anymore, it seemed.

When Patrick looked at Michael, though, his heart literally plummeted. Michael saw.

"Hello, Patrick," Michael said, calm (no need for Patrick to know how much Michael hated the man). Patrick hesitated, obviously at a loss of words, before he swallowed and forced a smile on his face.

"Michael," said Patrick. Then, it stayed silent for a long time. Even the little girl, who had been chuckling about nothing, was quiet.

Angela looked at the two men, more than slightly confused at what was happening. She had no idea who this 'Michael' was.

Then, it hit her, and her eyes started shooting flames. Patrick saw, and quickly pulled Angela with him, and therefore the little girl too.

Michael looked after them, anger boiling up inside him. Patrick said nothing good about Teresa to Angela, he realized that now. Angela must _hate_ Teresa, and maybe Patrick did too.

The buggy was pulled with the couple backwards, causing the little girl to look at Michael. She smiled, and waved at him.

Michael turned quickly, swallowing away the major lump in his throat.

His hate towards Patrick had just increased noticeably.

-YulianaHenderson-

"_Why_, Angela? _Why_ does it bother you still? It was just _her little brother_. It wasn't _her_."

Angela ignored him, like only she could do when she was angry. She was feeding little Charlotte, who had no idea what her parents were discussing – and obviously, it was not necessary for her to know about it.

"God dammit, Ange! I don't get you anymore!"

Patrick was about to leave the room, when he realized that was just running away from the problems.

He slammed the door shut, slightly startling Angela.  
"Could you at least _look_ at me when you're angry?" Patrick exclaimed. Angela put down the spoon, leaving oblivious Charlotte to start crying because she didn't get her food in time.

"Could you just imagine what it feels like for me? When you told me you were over the moon in love with me, that you would spent forever by my side, you had... sexual intercourse with somebody you barely knew. You know that your vows don't seem all that believable anymore after what you did?"

"Why are you so freakin' insecure, Angela? You know I love you. You know I don't love Teresa. I did, once, just a bit, just enough to 'have sexual intercourse' with her, as you put it. Yes, it was a mistake. And yes, I regret it-"

"Maybe after a few years you'll start believing your lies-"

"Shut up! Okay? Just shut up! If you're going to be like this for ever, I don't even want it anymore! If you can't trust me, if you can't put our past behind us like you put the carnie life behind us, maybe I'm not the right man for you. Don't look so surprised, you know it's true."

Angela swallowed tickly, and averted her eyes, looking at Charlotte instead, who was still crying and reaching out for the little plate on the table to fetch her food. When Angela's eyes focused back on Patrick's, his breath caught in his throat. Her eyes were filled with tears.

"I love you, Patrick. I don't want to lose you. I thought I'd lost you, when you met Teresa. You were so impulsive, and since you were also not known for being loyal, I just thought I'd lost you... All I'm asking is for you to be hundred percent focused on _me_-"

"I already am, Ange," Patrick said, but more on a whisper, and sat down at the kitchen table, opposite Angela. "I know that Teresa bothers you, and I can't blame you. But I'm here with _you_, and with Charlie, not with Teresa. Maybe someday, I'll meet her again, but nothing will come out of that, trust me. Not something like what we have. I love you, Ange. _You_."

Angela sighed, then swallowed and took his hand in hers. "I guess I'll just have to believe you."

Patrick nodded, a gentle smile on his face.

-YulianaHenderson-

Patrick dropped the newspaper.

No way. No _freaking_ way.

He closed his eyes. No!

_Multi-billionaire Walter Mashburn to help troubled family_

_Teresa Lisbon (20) and her younger brothers James (19), Thomas (17) and Michael (16) have always seemed to manage taking care of themselves, after both their parents died when the four were younger. Their parents left some money, but unfortunately, they quickly ran out of that, and after Teresa gave birth to a child, their costs were getting more than a little insane. _

_The four adolescents saw no other way in making ends meet, and decided to ring the council for help. Unfortunately, nobody there said they could help them._

_When they gave up, help came from where you would least expect to find it; Multi-billionaire Walter Mashburn (25, known for his successful company 'Jetshare Inc.') looked into the icky situation the four were in, and decided to fund for their housing, food and clothes, and schooling for all of them; including the now two year old Mary._

_Mashburn: "It's a wonder that these kids managed to survive for so long, especially with a little baby that demands all sorts of necessities. It feels as my duty to make sure they all grow up happily, without much trouble. Poor Teresa is supposed to have a mother instead of being one. And the same applies to the boys, of course. I'm going to pay for everything as long as they need it, and keeping in mind that Mary is still two, I think that will take a while still. But I'm happy to support them wherever they need it."_

What... What had happened to Teresa? He knew her parents had died, but... he hadn't realized that that meant _she_ had to take care of her younger brothers.

But the thing that bugged him most was the part about the baby... Mary. She couldn't be... no, she just couldn't. It was not possible.

Of course Patrick knew it was possible.

He picked up the newspaper, and looked at the picture that covered the front of it, accompanying the article about the Lisbon family.

Teresa was standing in the middle of it, the baby in her hands. Teresa looked awful, like she hadn't slept for the past two years. There were major bags under her eyes, and the smile she put on was obviously forced. Her brothers didn't look all that better.

What shocked him most, though, was the little girl's hair; it was long, obviously black, that was even detectable despite the black-and-white print of the newspaper. But her hair was also... curly.

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**A/N: I'm sorry, I think you're detecting that I'm seriously tired and stupid and I hate myself right now... Okay, I have no reason at all to hate myself, and it's not important for you to know... but this story is just getting so stupid and that makes ****_me_**** feel stupid... and useless... it's ridiculous.**


	5. July 10, 1988

**A/N: I must apologize for my stupid behavior from yesterday. I can't believe I actually felt that way... about myself, obviously. And thanks, a BIG BIG thanks to sorchauna, who never fails to crack me up and make me happy again. So, Sweetie, I love you and thanks so much for your wise words! And thanks to the other people as well that are following this story, or have reviewed, it really means a lot to me!**

**Anyways, on to more important matters: this story! I told some of you; I initially planned this to be three chapters. See, we're on the Chapter 5 line already. But, don't fret, this story is going to be over soon, so you won't have to suffer anymore! I think, maybe another chapter and then the final chapter, or already the final chapter... And with final chapter, I mean FINAL chapter. As in: we skip fifteen years or so, and see how Patrick and Teresa reacted on seeing each other again after so many years, and now that they are supposed to be working together... Honestly, that's my favorite part of the story, because that's where it gets interesting - and M-rated.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

* * *

**5 months later**

**_July 10, 1988_**

That newspaper article. It kept bugging Patrick. To such an extent that he couldn't focus on anything anymore.

Jack, his best friend from the carnival, had offered ten minutes at the beginning of his show. An offer Patrick couldn't resist, of course.

But somehow, completely embarrassing himself on national television because he wasn't focused enough was _not_ what he thought was best for him now.

So he'd rejected.

Against all of Angela's protests, obviously.

He looked at the picture.

Okay. So he'd accepted the fact that little Mary might be his. The curls were tell-tale, and though Teresa could of course sleep with somebody else, he didn't really think she had time for that sort of thing. Like she had when they slept together.

But even _if _Mary was his, he couldn't do anything about it. He really couldn't go visit her if he wanted to live for a couple more years. Angela would definitely kill him on the spot. And he surely couldn't even _tell_ her.

What a mess.

He'd never have expected _this_ to happen to his life when he left Teresa that night. He'd thought he could leave it all behind. Obviously, he couldn't.

And, apart from the night that Charlotte was made, Angela and him hadn't been intimate once after Teresa. Which more than bugged him. Because despite him loving Teresa, he loved Angela too. He felt so much like a player, it even disgusted himself.

He looked at the little notebook he was writing in.

_Pros and cons._

He was so stupid.

_Angela__:_

_Pros: Gentle and sweet_

_Utterly perfect_

_Good with children_

_Mother of Charlotte_

_Cons: _

_Jealous_

_Morning mood_

_Teresa__:_

_Pros: Slightly stubborn_

_Pretty_

_Social despite past_

_Cons: Troubled_

_Insecure_

_Not here_

Patrick froze at the last word.

_Angela is here. Teresa isn't._

"Patrick," he heard Angela saying – was her voice seductive? – from behind him, and he turned, putting the notebook underneath one of the pillows. He smiled as soon as his eyes rested on her body; she was wearing close to nothing.

"Yes?" he asked, playing dumb. Angela slightly rolled her eyes, but then got a small smile on her face, almost a teasing one.

"Could you... I tried this new bra on, but the clasp seems to be twisted or something. Could you twist it the right way round?"

Patrick felt a tingling feeling in his stomach, and nodded dumbly. She walked over to him – he noticed she put a slight sway to her hips – and turned around.

He almost groaned when he saw the strap of her bra wasn't twisted at all. He decided to take the bait – this must be some sort of eerie fate-thing – and moved to unclasp it.

Angela chuckled, before Patrick turned her around, and the move made her bra fall off her shoulders.

If there was one moment Patrick had to name that made choosing between Teresa and Angela easier, it were moments like these.

Teresa was beautiful, her curves full and round but also tomboy-ish. He couldn't help but notice. She definitely needed some female advice, but since she spent all her days with only her brothers, she got that advice from nowhere.

Angela's curves were perfect, and-

Oh god, he was still comparing them. Still. Even if he was going to make love to Angela.

Patrick quickly pulled her towards him and linked their lips.  
Angela chuckled, and sat down on his lap, straddling his hips. She deepened the kiss, but nothing too passionate. Just the ordinary Angela-kiss. But he guessed that was why he loved her so much.

Patrick smiled against her mouth, lifted her up and carried her into the bedroom.

-YulianaHenderson-

Teresa cradled her daughter against her chest, humming a song her mother always sung to her. It gave her mixed feelings.

Mary's tears still fell, but she'd stopped sobbing, and her head was buried in the crook of Teresa's neck.

"Shh, it's okay, Butterfly, it's okay," Teresa whispered in Mary's ear. The little girl wrapped her arms around Teresa's neck, and Teresa knew she wasn't sad anymore.

Within seconds – Teresa slightly lost _when_, _why_ and _how_ the little girl managed to do that – Mary was chuckling, and had a strand of Teresa's hair in her hands.

Teresa sighed, but a small smile on her lips. "Sometimes I just don't get you, Butterfly."

Mary pulled away slightly, and placed a small kiss on Teresa's lips.

It hurt Teresa to see the resemblance Mary had with her father. If Mary only looked a bit more like Teresa, this would all be so much easier.

Then, the comfortable silence was broken by Thomas and Michael, making too much noise which they didn't notice; they seemed to be involved in an interesting argument. Teresa liked that the two boys took their education seriously; just not when she was having some quality time with her daughter.

As soon as the boys saw Teresa and Mary on the couch, their eyes widened and left the living room, apologetic expressions on their faces.

Teresa just sighed, and stroked Mary's cheeks. The girl just looked at her uncles curiously, a finger in her mouth to emphasize that she was thinking, or maybe just interested.

After a few silent moments – Teresa could already hear the boys picking up on their discussion – Mary pointed at the door the two had just disappeared in.

"Yes, that were Uncle Tommy and Uncle Mike," Teresa pointed out. Mary looked at Teresa, then got a huge smile on her face, jumped off the couch and into the direction of the door she'd just pointed at.

Teresa didn't stop her, the girl was too curious and it was of no use at all to try and stop her. She would continue sniffing around eventually anyway.

Mary pushed the door open, and once inside, Teresa smiled at her brother's reactions.

"Molly!" she heard Thomas exclaiming – Teresa rolled her eyes at the name. Apparently, Thomas and Michael didn't like the name Mary, and decided to make some sort of 'modern' version of it.

Michael joined soon after, and then, she just heard the distinctive sounds of people having fun.

Two strong arms suddenly wrapped around her, and she smiled.

"Penny for your thoughts, Sissy?" James asked. Teresa just sighed, and James sat down.

"Not daydreaming about Patrick again, are you? Really, that freak doesn't even deserve your love, Teresa."

She sighed again.

They were both silent for a while, before they, as if on cue, turned towards the other. They smiled, and James motioned for her to start.

"I just want to thank you for everything you've done for me so far."

James shrugged. "It's a family thing, Teresa. Besides, I love you. I wouldn't want to see you hurt, especially not by such a loser as Patrick." He paused, averting his eyes to find the right words. "Speaking of him... I saw him in the shop today."

Teresa swallowed, and averted her eyes too. Michael had told her about the time he'd seen Patrick in the shop, but didn't reveal too much about it.

"And you're not going to like it-"

"Just tell me, Jamie," Teresa ordered, and James sighed.  
"He was not alone. He was with that blonde girl... Angela, I believe her name was? And a baby... and, call me stupid, but I do believe that that little girl is their daughter."

Teresa's body tensed as the meaning of James' words sank in.

Her entire world came crashing down, but only in her head. Because, even though all her hopes had just been flying away, any hopes of a possible future with Patrick; the rest of the world kept moving. It wouldn't be bothered by something as stupid as... this.

She looked at her lap, and didn't even fight the tears. She was too tired to do so.

"I'm sorry, Reese. I really am," he said, carefully placing a hand on her shoulder, and when he noticed she didn't flinch away from him, pulled her towards him and let her bury her head in the crook of his neck, like Mary had done too minutes ago. "I truly wished that it could be different. That it could be better."

Teresa got lost in the gentle embrace of her brother.

Of course he did. Everybody did.

One thing was for sure: she was _so_ not trusting anybody ever again, except for her brothers.

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**A/N: Hmm... I'm good at writing fluff, but bad at writing Angst/Hurt/Comfort... Let me know, though, what you think in a REVIEW, thank you!**

**Ps: Have you noticed I haven't put any smileys in neither of the Author's Note's? I must be getting a cold or something...**


	6. April 8, 2004

**A/N: *squee* A loooong chapter! Actually, this is the last one, so... Well, unless people want me to wrap it up better, or when I did something wrong or... yeah, if you don't like this ending :D.**

**Thanks for the continued support, even though it was less than I'm used to because this story was M-rated, and my readers don't all love M-rated... To be fair, this is more smut than only M-rated :D.**

**And excuse me if this story is getting SO downhill with this chapter... I just felt like this was the best time to end the story, since it was getting a bit too corny for my liking. But: feel free to prove me wrong!**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

* * *

**16 years later**

**_April 8, 2004_**

"Lisbon," Supervising Agent Minelli started as he walked into her office – not her own office, she would soon get her own but they still had to move to the recently renovated CBI HQ building.

She looked up.

"There is someone I would like you to meet. He'll be a new member of your new team, just like Agent van Pelt. He isn't an agent, though, just a consultant, so to say."

"Why would he be working with me? I don't need a consultant."

"No, no, it's not for you, Lisbon," Minelli said, his usual 'You silly Lisbon' smile on his face, "it's more for him. His wife and daughter have been killed three years ago by Red John, a serial killer."

"Since when are we a charity institution?"

"Lisbon, please. You'll get the Red John case, and all smaller cases that belong to the Serious Crimes Unit. He'll only be there to help you."

Lisbon sighed. Great. Somebody that was of her responsibility because he couldn't come up for himself for he was gun-less.

"How far gone is he?" asked Lisbon. Minelli sighed.

"He used to be insane. I think you have to be just a bit insane to work here, Lisbon, otherwise _I_ wouldn't be here. He'll come this afternoon, meet him and tell me what you think about him."

Lisbon sighed.  
"Fine."

"Great. Here is his file, read it before he gets here."

Minelli placed a big file on her desk, before smiling and walking back to his 'office'.

Lisbon grabbed the file, and started reading it. More like skimming.

She had overlooked the name, so when she saw 'Angela', she froze.

She turned the pages back to the beginning, and almost got a heart attack.

_Patrick Jane._

No. No no no. It couldn't be.

She put down the file, as the – somewhat painful – memories came back to her.

Lisbon had pushed Patrick out of her mind. She had waited for him, had pushed everybody away just in case he would come for her.

But he didn't come. It had been two freaking decades. And he hadn't come looking for her.

Of course he didn't come back for her. He hadn't loved her, hadn't _truly_ loved her. Besides, he had still Angela, where Lisbon had nobody. Only Mary.

Lisbon swallowed, and looked at the picture on her made-shift desk. The girl was twenty... Twenty, and she still hadn't met her father. Of course she had asked Lisbon about it. She was still a teen, and curious as hell. Lisbon just wished Mary was less curious; it still hurt to think about _him_.

And of course Mary couldn't comprehend the whole reason _why_ she didn't know her father, and why her mother was so young when she got pregnant, etc. Lisbon just didn't _want_ to explain. Mary was smart, she would find out eventually anyway.

Kimball Cho walked into her office.

"You okay, Boss?" asked Cho, and Lisbon looked up and nodded.  
"Yeah. We'll get a new team member this afternoon. Here's his file," said Lisbon, and Cho nodded, taking the file from her.

She leaned back into her chair, and closed her eyes.

-YulianaHenderson—

"Just behave, okay, Mary? I don't feel like bailing you out of jail _again_."

Mary sighed at the other end of the phone.

"_Mum_... I apologized, come _on_-"

"No, Mary, I don't want to hear a thing about it. You need to understand where there're boundaries in life, and you won't learn that by me saving your ass whenever you do something wrong. I'm only warning you that I'm not going to do that again."

"I'm twenty-"

"And still my daughter. Don't make this more difficult than it already is, Mary. I'm just asking you to behave. And watch yourself, okay?"

Mary sighed again.

"Fine. Love you."

"Love you too."

Lisbon hung up, and closed her eyes briefly. That girl would drive her nuts one day. To be honest, she already did.

When she looked up, she already regretted it.

For there, at the other end of the temporary bullpen, was none other than Patrick Jane standing. She would recognize him forever; he hadn't changed much.

"Agent Lisbon, this is Patrick Jane. Patrick Jane, this is Senior Special Agent Teresa Lisbon," said Minelli, pointing at the two when telling their names.

The two looked at each other, and Lisbon felt her heart break.

The youthful smile, face, everything of Patrick had left him. He wasn't as happy as he'd used to be.

But in Patrick's mind, the same happened. She had come so far, but he saw she wasn't happy.

"I'll leave you two alone then," Minelli sighed, noticing how the two just looked at each other and felt just a bit awkward, and left the room.

Jane hadn't looked her in the eyes, and when he did, she grew angry all of a sudden. She was just too stupid.  
"Teresa, I-"

"Shut up," Lisbon snapped. Jane winched, and Lisbon jumped up.

"Okay. I have _no_ idea how to feel about this right now."

Jane averted his eyes. "I know."

"You _know_? No you don't! Have you ever realized what mess you left me with? The least you could've done was call me!"  
"I didn't want to!"

"Why not? You told me you loved me!"

"And that was a mistake."

Lisbon stared at him, her eyes full of pain.  
"Son of a bitch," she whispered. Jane moved towards her, but she flinched away from him.  
Jane sighed. "I know you won't forgive me-"

"Oh, you do?" Lisbon turned towards her desk, and snatched a picture from it. She threw it towards him. He was just in time to catch it.

"That's your daughter," she stated, matter-of-factly, which made Jane winch again. "And she's been asking me since she's able to talk where her daddy is. You can explain that?"

"Teresa-"

"Don't Teresa me, you bastard! You _left_ me-"

"Because I was with Angela-"

"You didn't seem to mind _then_."

Jane paused, and took in Lisbon's state. He knew she was angry. He knew _he_ was even angry at _himself_. But he needed her to forgive him. He needed _her_.

Jane looked at the picture of Mary. She was exactly the same girl he'd seen in the picture from that newspaper article, only one-and-a-half decade older.

"She looks like you-"

"Don't do that to me," Lisbon snapped, crossing her arms.

"Do what?"

"Trying to convince me into forgiving you."

"Isn't that what you want too?"

"No! I want you to meet Mary, help us solve this Red John case Minelli told me about, and then I never want to see you again."

"Red John..." Jane whispered. Lisbon frowned.  
"Yeah, Red John. Doesn't Angela let you watch TV or something-"

"Don't mention Angela-"

"I have _all_ right to mention Angela, because she's what put me in this mess in the first place-"

"No, it's not! It was _my_ fault, not hers! I'm stupid! I've always been stupid, stupid with falling in love with Angela, and with you, then leaving you while that was the most stupid decision ever. Then marrying Angela while we didn't belong together anyways, despite our love."

Lisbon sighed. She was sure he made excuses now.

"She's dead, Teresa."

Lisbon froze. It took a while before his words sank in, and she immediately regretted snapping at him. "She's... she's _what_?"  
"You heard me. She's dead. Charlotte is too. Because of me."

Lisbon shook her head, but more to clear her mind somehow. She didn't get what he was saying.

"You didn't kill them, did you?"

"Indirectly."

"I... don't know what you mean."

Jane sighed, moved around her and sat down at her desk. He searched her mail – despite protests Lisbon uttered – and opened the mail Minelli had sent her. A video popped up, and Jane started it.

The video featured Jane in an interview, in which he did a psychic-act. Then, the interviewers asked him about his help for the police in the Red John case.

"I spoke the wrong words," Jane said, interrupting Lisbon's train of thoughts. "That got them killed."

"I..." Lisbon was at a loss of words. She... was angry at him, sure she was. She would always be. But this made everything so much different.

She placed a hand on his shoulder, and Jane hung his head.  
"I'm so sorry, Teresa, for all the pain I've caused you. I can only imagine what you must have been feeling since then. I don't regret falling in love with you, but it made everything so damned difficult... I'd known Angela all my life, and people would have never forgiven me if I ran off with you, an outsider. I... love you, Teresa."

Lisbon shook her head, and took her hand off his shoulder.

"I can't-"

"I know you can't forgive me. And I'm not forcing you to. I just want to help. Where I wasn't able to help before. And..." he started, but he didn't know the right words. He merely shook his head, and closed his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. Lisbon took in a deep, frustrated breath.

Jane looked up, and saw she was pacing the room. His heart broke a little to see her so sad and almost panicked.

He took the time to take in her appearance. She'd grown up to be a truly beautiful woman. She'd always been beautiful, that wasn't the problem.

He then noticed a warm feeling entering his chest, and he swallowed to get rid of it. He couldn't... _shouldn't_ be with her now. Not even when that was all he wanted. She needed to forgive him first.

And anyways, he had a serial killer to catch – correction, _kill_ – first. To leave behind Angela and Charlotte, to be able to move on. With Lisbon. Because he was sure that was how his life was going to end anyways. With her.

Lisbon suddenly walked to her desk, picking up her phone and dialing a number. She placed the phone at her ear, and looked at Jane while she waited for the person to pick up the phone.

"Hey, Mary. It's me, Mum. Did you have plans for tonight?"

-YulianaHenderson-

"So... _You_ are my biological father?" Mary asked, almost incredulously, after Jane and Lisbon'd tried to explain everything.

Jane looked at Lisbon, who just shrugged, noting _he_ had to take it further on because _he_ caused this mess.  
"I am."

Mary looked up at down to take in Jane's appearance. Then, a small smile appeared on her face. "You're hot!"

"Mary!" Lisbon exclaimed. Jane looked somewhat embarrassed, but Mary just shrugged, not bothered by her parents.

"But I'm serious. What happened in the past is _so_ not interesting. I couldn't care less. As long as you get together eventually, or at least act mature and not like two stubborn toddlers, I'm happy. Now, I planned to go out with Cam, so, if you don't mind?" she asked, picking up her coat. Lisbon shook her head.

"Great meeting you, Patrick," Mary said, smiling at Jane, then left the room, leaving behind Jane and Lisbon.

They looked at each other, not daring to say anything. Then, Lisbon broke the silence.  
"If you think I'm taking you back: You're wrong. I can't forgive you for what you've done."

Jane nodded. "I respect that."

"But I... I know I said that... you could stay for this Red John case... But..."

Jane smiled faintly at her stuttering. She was still so easy readable.

"I know, Teresa. I'll stay, as long as you let me stay."

Lisbon sighed, relieved. With that, Jane left her condo.

**8 years later, Present Time**

**_19 may, 2012_**

"I'm very happy to meet you, Lorelei. We rarely get the chance to talk to someone who knows Red John so well," said Lisbon. The woman just stared at Lisbon, and then at the spot behind the agent.

Jane's hunt was Lisbon's hunt. Everybody knew that. Some people even thought Lisbon was more enthusiastic in catching the damned serial killer than the man who'd lost his family because of it. Every time people asked her _why_, she would talk around it. She didn't even know herself why she did it. She just wanted to see Jane happy. That was all she ever wanted. His pain was her pain, his tears were hers.

That was why it hurt when he had left her, for six months. It felt as if these decades of living without him came back to haunt her again. She got nightmares, of dead Janes or her on the wedding of Jane to another woman. She didn't know what was worse, they were both her biggest nightmares.

But the worst thing was that they worked together like good, proper colleagues, when all she wanted to do was hold on to him as if for dear life, kiss him, keep him save, make love to him. She knew how mind-blowing that was with him. They kept a good distance, which slowly killed her on the inside.

Yet since he'd come back from his six months of absence, he changed. He had never wanted to be touched, not by the team, not by Mary, not even by her, _especially_ not by her – they both knew it could quickly escalate and neither of them wanted that. Or that's what they kept telling each other. But he changed. He had hugged her, really hugging, had grabbed her hand in the desert when he was close to falling into a shock. Had even began touching her, more than often at places he would never touch her. She almost came to think that he wanted to be with her.

"Good to meet you too. Heard so much about you. We were lovers, him and me. Did he tell you that?" asked Lorelei. Lisbon froze, and at the same time, her heart shattered into million pieces. She thought he would wait for her. That he would only be in a relationship with her. Not with the enemy.

"No?" asked Lorelei, clearly taking Lisbon's silence as a confirmation of her question, "why not, lover? Are you ashamed of me? Did we do something bad?"

Jane stepped away from behind Lisbon, and came to stand at the other side of the table, his hands on Lorelei's shoulders.

"I know it's hard to believe now, but you're gonna talk to us. You're gonna break down, and you're gonna tell us everything you know about Red John. You're gonna sing like a bird."

"No, lover. I won't."

"Yes you will."

Jane placed a kiss on the top of Lorelei's head, before stepping away from her. Lisbon looked at him, and she caught his eyes. She could see the fear and guilt in them, the fear was usual, he'd always had that in his eyes, but not guilt.

He left the room, and Lisbon quickly motioned to Cho, Rigsby and Agent Darcy standing behind the one-way-mirror to come and get Lorelei, before she ran after Jane, who was already making way to his attic.

She ran up the stairs too, but as soon as she opened the door, Jane pulled her into a tight hug. She startled, but complied. There was nothing else she wanted than to drown in his embrace.

"I'm sorry, Lisbon, so sorry. I should have told you before she told you," whispered Jane. She stroked tiny soothing circles on his back.

"It's okay Jane, really-"

"It's not. I made a promise to you. I might not have told you, but I told myself that I would not be with someone other than _you_. I'm still not sure if you can be with me, but we could at least try. I can't stay away from you anymore, I can't stop my feelings. I have never been able to do so, but now it's more difficult. I need you, so close, just to make sure you're safe, that nothing happens to you. And Mary. I missed out on _everything_ in her life, and that can't be restored. Most of all: I want to give _us_ a shot. I want to be with you, Teresa. Let me be with you."

Lisbon swallowed. She had suspected that this was how he felt, but she had never dared to hope so.

"You don't have to ask me, Jane. I want it as bad as you want it. And I don't care about Red John, he can get me if he wants to, I'm a big girl and I can protect myself. I have a gun for a reason. But he can't take _you_ away from me. Nobody can," whispered Lisbon. Jane pulled her even closer, even if that was physically impossible.

"What I did with Lorelei wasn't real," whispered Jane, "it wasn't. Believe me, Lisbon. I never wanted to do that with her. It was necessary. If there was-"

"Stop it, Jane. I understand it, trust me."

Jane pulled away slightly to look into her eyes.

He then crushed his lips down on hers, and she immediately complied. She swung her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. He found no way in getting closer without the necessary brute force, so he made her recede quickly until she bumped against the wall. He caught her low yelp, and he pushed her tighter against the wall, until there was neither air nor space between them. He left her lips and kissed a trail down her neck.

"Just a quick reminder Lisbon," whispered Jane now against the skin of her neck, causing her to shudder, "if we are going to do this, I will never treat you as Lisbon anymore. We won't go back to what we were for these long years. Do you understand me?"

Lisbon nodded, and pulled on his curls.

He continued kissing her skin, more like sucking now.

His hands moved to unbutton her blouse, and quickly slid it down her arms. He kissed the space between her breasts, where her bra was bothering both of them. He quickly rid himself of his jacket, vest and shirt – why on earth did he wear so much clothes these days? – and then his pants. Her hands slid over his not super muscular chest.

Lisbon was still wearing most of her clothes, and now both their hands worked to strip her down to her underwear.

When they were done and she was completely naked, he took a step backwards to take in her body. It had aged visibly, of course she didn't look the same as when she was seventeen, he didn't either. But she was still beautiful. She was like from magazines, her skin beautifully pale, her breasts full and round.

He sighed contently at the thought that she was all his, and then returned to her, kissing her senseless until Lisbon pulled away. He looked at her, and almost suffocated because of how much lust he saw in her eyes.

He quickly took of his boxer shorts. He placed his hands in the back of her knees, making her bend them, and then lifted her, making her wrap her legs around his waist, and her arms around his neck.

He nibbled the skin in her neck, and she moaned. But he felt how desperate she was to have him inside her, so he gave her mercy – after all, that was all he wanted too.

He entered her, still amazed at how tight she was. She angled her hips, making it easier for him to move.

He wanted to take it slow, but he just couldn't, the need to make Lisbon happy so big – and judging from the way she was squirming in his arms, softly moaning, she wanted, _needed_ hard. He placed his hands on her waist, pushing down to hold her in place, while his thrusts became harder and harder.

She pulled on his curls, while with every thrust, her back scraped the cold, hard wall. She faintly noticed how one of Jane's hands left her lower back, and went to her hair, running through it, and a tear escaped her eye. She loved him so much, it physically hurt.

With every thrust, Jane felt his love grow. He felt stupider with the day since he saw Lisbon again. How could he have thought Angela was the one, when he had even known with their first kiss that Teresa was the one? He thought he needed to be with Angela because she loved him, had loved him for so long. Together, they had ran away. She had given him a new life. He knew it was a stupid reason, but he thought it was a justifiable one. He should've left Angela long before they ran away. The pain he'd caused Teresa now couldn't be repaired. Angela would understand it if he'd left her. Teresa didn't, she didn't have anyone to go to, she was all alone and he was so stupid not to have thought about that.

He felt Lisbon crying, and he scolded himself. It was all his fault. He didn't deserve her, she was too precious. She whimpered, and only then he noticed he was so far away in thoughts that his thrusts had slowed down.

He thrust harder again, and she let out a sound that was a mixture between a sob and a moan.

He kissed the skin in her neck, slightly sucking, and that sent her over the edge. She screamed his name, and a few thrusts later, he came too, shooting his load inside her. She pulled him close, closer than he was ever before. He felt so strong on the inside now that he had her again, but despite his willpower, his body didn't cooperate, and his knees gave up. They fell to the floor.

Jane was still inside her, not wanting to pull out of her, wanting to keep buried deep inside her forever.

"I love you, Teresa," whispered Patrick in her hair. She sighed, contently, and Jane smiled, for the first time in what felt like years.

"I love you too, Patrick. And I'll take everything of you, even Angela," she whispered, and Patrick couldn't suppress a small chuckle. Angela and Teresa weren't exactly that fond of each other. He had heard a lot about how much Angela disliked Teresa for years. Whenever she and Jane were admiring Charlotte, Angela would ask if he had wanted to have a child with Teresa too. It hurt to think that Angela had no idea at all that he already _had_ a child with Teresa.

"We can be together now, my love. I will forever think about you. And I'll give you everything. Everything that you couldn't or wouldn't have in your life up until now because of your parents, brothers, Mary or me."

Lisbon pulled away, and looked him in his eyes.

"Everything?"

"Everything. Tell me what you want and you'll get it."

Lisbon thought for a few seconds. She hesitated in her answer.

He kissed her forehead.  
"You can tell me, I won't laugh," whispered Jane, and she huffed.  
"Wouldn't be the first time-"

"I'm trying to be sensitive here, woman."

"I know," she said. She swallowed, grabbed his hand and placed it on her tummy.

"I want your baby. And I know that it's going to be weird for Mary... But I want to enjoy a baby like people are supposed to enjoy them. With a loving husband," came Lisbon's whispered reply, and Jane bit back tears. He stroked her cheek.

"I'll see what I can do," whispered Jane, and gathered her in his arms. They leant against the wall – their necks would most definitely hurt the next day, but that was for later care – Lisbon's head on his shoulder and Jane's arms around her waist. They reveled in each other's heat, not needing a blanket, and they fell asleep.

The team would sure enough be wondering where they were. Like Jane and Lisbon cared.

* * *

**A/N: I haven't the foggiest ****_why_**** I finished this story like this. I just don't know, okay.**

******About the first date (April 8): that's my birthday. Just thought that it fit; the day Jane and Lisbon get reunited is my birthday xD.**

**Thanks, for now, for the lovely reviews/follows; I love you all SO MUCH!**

**Anyways: Let me know what you thought of this chapter, or this entire story in general, in a REVIEW, thank you! 'Old lovers, new lovers' is out! (I think)**


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